Day 3

Self Portrait After Loss

I really debated which of my pictures to add that really described this journey, so I chose these two.
The photo on the left is when I was in pre-op waiting for my turn for my d&c. At that time I was very emotionally numb. I had not cried or grieved and to be totally honest, the full reality of what happened had not even hit me yet. I was just... there.. without being there.

The photo on the left was taken last week and I felt I needed to put on a smile. I tried to make it look un-fake, but failed miserably. The hurt is still in my eyes. I am ready for that hurt to go away.

Day 2

This Is like a reminder that I was happy. After trying for 8 months, charting, taking supplements, and praying, it finally happened! 
We had so much joy!

Day 1

Sunrise.
This is a photo I took a few Weeks ago since I wasnt able to get a photo of todays.

October is a month of healing, and many many birthdays, including Abigail turning 3 and my own 23rd.

A Step to Moving On

After thinking about it and knowing that we both swore this was a son from conception, we took the step to name him. Even though he didn't grow, and was never born, he was still living at some point and is still a person and deserves to be recognized as such. Our little angel is named Joshua and he will never be forgotten.

Tomorrows sunrise is for you, my beautiful <3

Lil Angel Hankies

Hanky Drive: A Chance to Get Your Hanky Sooner!!! | Lil Angels Hankies

If you get a chance to help out this awesome organization, please do!

Lil Angel Hankies provides personalized embroidered handkerchiefs to give to families grieving during pregnancy/infant/child loss, free of charge!

I requested mine the week I found out about the babys passing and can't wait to display photos when I receive it. Even though this amazing organization provides such an amazing service to grieving families, there is such a huge demand for the handkerchiefs that the turn around is sometimes six months or more, so they could use all of the help they can get!

Capture Your Grief photo project

CarlyMarie Project Heal | Capture Your Grief this October 2012 for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

In honor of pregnancy and infant loss awareness month I plan on taking part in this photo project, joining hundreds of other women who have done the same.

I plan on doing the project through this blog so starting October 1 expect more regular posts.

The best distraction-Family fun

So Yesterday the East Texas State Fair was going on so we took the kids. I'll admit it was a pretty fun day despite turning into a boiled lobster from sunburn. Too bad I didn't pay much attention to the warning on my antibiotic that I'm not supposed to be out in the sun very long. Or take the pills with milk... Both offenses committed in two days. Oops.

Anyway, the kids had lots of fun, and I'll admit that I did too.